Naked Blog

Darlings - I'm having a complete nervous breakdown.

I know some of you have your ups and downs... partners can be a bitch... children disrespect you despite years of your devotion... parents fuck off and die, the ungrateful bastards.

All of those things.

But never more than one at a time, eh?

Currently we're suffering from...

a Naked Blog server that's down, and Ednet don't seem to give a toss about...

Extracted teeth that my dentist doesn't seem to give a toss about... despite me getting through to the next stage of...

Bingo caller of the year competion, which I don't want to win, because...

it would mean flying to Las Vegas, whereas I would rather eat fresh lugworms dug up from the beach...

which is even damper than the wall of my downstairs neighbour, with (alleged) water from my flat...

and I can hardly breathe from cat allergy and cigarette smoke...

while my t-shirt printer remains down...

and I disappoint all my recent blog guests.

It's just not fair. Nature conspires to defeat me. Always has.